Jack Healy
and Serge F. Kovaleski write in the "New York Times" about the
killing spree in Aurora, Colorado. The authors start out by saying that the
killer's apartment was booby trapped "to kill anyone who entered while
pursuing his trail." James Eagen Holmes was a "shy and awkward [24
year-old] boy who seemed bound for big things." He graduated from the
University of California and moved to Colorado for his doctoral program in
neuroscience. Healy and Kovaleski move on describing his activities and stating
many quotes from his neighbors regarding his behavior. He was always seen
alone, however seemed to look for friendship online and neighbors said he
sometimes listened to very loud music with newspaper covering the windows. When
his academic plans failed, he began receiving large deliveries and bought
several weapons from local shops. On the morning of July, 20th he walked into a
movie theater screening the latest Batman movie and killed 12 people and
injured more than 50 others. The authors state many quotes from classmates and
teachers about his behavior and finish off describing how the police were able
to take care of the traps in his apartment to look for clues as to what were
the causes for his actions.
The authors'
purpose in this article is not only to inform the reader about the shooting in
Aurora, but to provide information about both the shooter, James Eagen Holmes,
and the police department's investigation regarding the incident. The authors
use many words which accurately describe what they are trying to inform and
give many details allowing the reader to picture the scenes. At one point the
authors seemed to use the repetition of the word "alone" to emphasize
the idea of James Eagen's solitude. The usage of many quotes from other people
add credibility to the information presented and at the same time making the
ideas easier to grasp. This article is well written and effective to inform the
reader about the Aurora shooting.
-Present tense "write" in the first sentence doesn't sound right. Read it a couple of times and see if you can hear how it's wrong.
ReplyDelete-Who is James Holmes? Make sure you intoduce him as the suspect, don't assume that the reader knows his name.
-"He was always seen alone, however seemed to look for friendship online and neighbors"
*"however" doesn't connect the two thoughts here.
-Provide the full title of the movie, and not "the latest Batman movie"
-I remember hearing about this shooting when it happened. What a horrible tragedy. ):