Television has always come up when
people search for a reason behind children having shorter attention spans as
well as bad habits. Now, in this
article, people search and find that when children, infants, view television
often, it hurts their eating habits.
This is quite frightening and is a big source of child obesity. This article covers a question that has been
answered on many a basis, but it is always a good reminder: television is bad
for young developing brains. Eating in
front of a TV will cause children to pursue harmful eating habits which will
eventually lead to obesity.
In Alexandra Sifferlin’s article, she
brings up many statistics and quotes from people with authority and knowledge
on the matter. Studies and other tools
are used to provide a point for her story.
This subject is increasing in importance and necessity in American culture,
because it is everywhere. This would bring
a reader to this article, addressing a common matter that harms people. Learning to prevent it is obviously important
to mothers with children suffering from obesity. It is something that everyone should try to
prevent. Overall, Sifferlin did a good
job bringing up point and proving how they were affective and essential for guiding
the reader.
It was well summed up and you pointed out the purpose and thesis very clearly, but I think it would be better if you put the author's name in the first paragraph. Another thing is that perhaps it would be better if the word "obviously" was replaced with another--Mrs. Fadlalla and previous teachers told us a few times to avoid assuming that something is obvious. I also noticed that your last sentence was very general. Maybe you could conclude with a sentence that sums up why it was good.
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